Oh, sweetheart, being a mom has taught me that life isn’t always a smooth ride. Those mother-daughter relationships, well, they ebb and flow like the tides, you know? Just like how it was with me and my own mom back in the late 80s, it’s been quite the journey raising you in the 2000s.

I’ve always believed that raising a daughter might be a bit of a challenge, just like it was for me with my mom. My brothers were a piece of cake, but I brought a little spice into momma and daddy’s lives. Being the youngest of three and the only girl, well, that came with its own set of rules, let me tell you. It was almost like being in a nunnery at times, or so they say.

Growing up in the 80s, I didn’t have as clear a picture of my role as a woman in this world. I had to figure that out on my own, and it took a fair share of life’s ups and downs to get there. But I always wished for more for my daughter if I ever had one. Fast forward to 2001.

On June 19, 2001, everything changed when I welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world. It wasn’t easy, considering the challenges life had thrown my way in the past. I wanted nothing more than to shield you from all the hardships, protect your thoughts, your feelings, and your outlook on life as you grew from a little chunk monkey into the beautiful soul you are today, inside and out.

I’ve always wanted to teach you to stand up for yourself, baby girl. Not every friendship is worth pursuing, not every invitation deserves a yes, and certainly not every boy is worth your time. You must protect your heart and choose your friends wisely. You’ll learn, slowly but surely, that not everyone is meant for you, and that’s perfectly okay. Not everyone can handle the wonderful person you are, and vice versa.

Above all, I wished to shield you from the pain of a broken heart, because those are the toughest to mend. But I may have failed there, my love, because I wanted you to experience relationships and make your own choices, even if it meant getting hurt along the way.

Being a mom, well, there’s a fine line we walk. Sometimes we stay on the safe side of it, but more often than not, we cross that line. It’s not always an easy path, and sometimes it feels like a no-win situation.

What I really needed to do, and what I wish I had done more, was remind you of these important rules, my precious girl:

• Travel light through life. Keep only what you need.

• It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. It’s also okay to smash (some) things; but, wash your face, clean your mess, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.

• If you’re going to cuss, be clever. If you’re going to cuss in public, know your audience.

• Seek out the people and places that resonate with your soul.

• Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

• 5-second rule. It’s just dirt. There are worse things in a fast food cheeseburger.

• You are a woman, you do not need a man! (But it is okay to want the right one)

• Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse these.

• Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.

• Never, ever walk through an alley alone.

• Be less sugar, more spice, and only as nice as you’re able to without compromising yourself.

• Can’t is a cop-out.

• Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.

• If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.

• Never lie to yourself.

• Your body, your rules.

• If you have an opinion, you better know why.

• Practice your passions.

• Ask for what you want. The worst thing they can say is no.

• Wish on stars and dandelions, then get to work to make them happen.

• Stay as sweet as you are.

• Fall in love often, with ideas, art, music, literature, food and far-off places.

• Fall hard and forever in love with yourself.

• Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.

• Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are.

• Naps are for grown-ups, too.

• Question everything, except your own intuition.

• You have enough. You are enough.

• You are amazing! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does….walk away. You deserve better. Never forget that!

• No matter where you are, you can always come home. Always!!

• Be happy and remember your roots, family is EVERYTHING.

• Say what you mean and mean what you say.

• No one will ever love you more than I do.

• Be kind; treat others how you would like them to treat you.

• If in doubt, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown

Baby girl, oh how I love you! Even before you came into this world, I dreamt of you and cherished the thought of being your mom. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever take away or alter the deep love I hold for you and the immense privilege it is to be your mother.

Momma Loves You!